There are certain rules of V-day that we must follow. And when I mean must, I mean it in big bold letters surpassing a font size of 72 pt.

Rule 1. Never wear red. It is a rule that should and never be broken. You’ll never know how many of you walking side by side that could be mistaken as the missing link of the Sex Bomb Dancers or the Viva Hot Babes.

Rule 2. Give roses a week ahead of Valentine’s day and be a non-conformist. You’ll never know how much money you could save with the Early Bird rate at Dangwa.

Rule 3. Change your Yahoo Messenger status to Happy Birthday Kris Aquino. This is a discreet reminder that today is indeed V-day. In this way, people will really be curious to ask you if you are chums with Kris Aquino and then ask how’s James Yap.

Rule 4. For the lack of a physically-existing date on V-day, spend time with your precious game console. It could be your PS2, PS1 or whatever. For the guys, just play Tomb Raider and fantasize of Lara Croft. For the ladies, just play Street Fighter and dream of Ken.

Rule 5. Avoid going to malls. ’nuff said.

Happy Hearts Day! Hehehe!